Three Steps to Building Psychological Resilience: Harnessing Your Window of Tolerance
Psychological resilience is all about tapping into our inner strengths and outer resources to adapt to difficult events and stressful situations.
In my last journal article, I explored exactly what psychological resilience is (and isn’t!), took a look at some of the influencing factors and signs, and considered exactly why it is important - and possible - to strengthen your resilience through learnt capacity. If you didn’t get a chance to read it yet, I’d recommend heading over there now, before you continue on here.
How to Build your Psychological Resilience
There are three essential steps to strengthening your psychological resilience. By following these steps, you will be better equipped to manage stress, regulate difficult emotions, cope with life’s inevitable challenges, and enhance your physical and mental wellbeing.
Step 1: Recognise Your Window of Tolerance
The window of tolerance is a concept coined by clinical professor and psychiatrist Dan Siegal. It refers to your personal window or threshold for tolerating stress. Sometimes referred to as your optimal zone of arousal or functioning.
When you’re within your window of tolerance your nervous system is regulated, and you:
think, feel and behave more flexibly
feel calm, relaxed and in control
are able to function most effectively
cope better with unpleasant emotions (e.g. anger, anxiety, guilt)
can cope with life’s challenges and stressors more effectively
When you’re outside your window of tolerance your nervous system is dysregulated, and you enter a state of either:
01| Hyperarousal
Characterised by excessive activation or energy.
Feel anxious, panicky, agitated, emotionally overwhelmed and out of control.
You may experience wanting to fight or flight (i.e. run away).
02| Hypoarousal
Characterised by decreased responsiveness.
Feel emotionally numb, exhausted, depressed and disconnected.
Your body may shut down or freeze.
Recognizing your window of tolerance and what happens to you physically and emotionally when you are inside it, outside of it and moving in and out of it, are important first steps towards regulating your nervous system and strengthening your psychological resilience. This knowledge enables you to:
a) widen your window, therefore widening your capacity and increasing your resilience to deal with external stressors.
b) understand when you need to implement self-regulating strategies to help move you back within your window.
You can increase your awareness by reflecting on how you feel, think and act when regulated, as well as reflecting on how you feel, think and act when dysregulated (i.e. hyper or hypo-aroused). If you get stuck, ask someone close to you what they observe when you are regulated and dysregulated.
Step 2: Learn to Self-Regulate
Once you can recognise your signs of dysregulation, you can start to work on building coping strategies and tools to self-regulate. Through this, you can build a metaphorical toolbox of tools you can use reactively when you become dysregulated, to move you back within your window of tolerance.
Consider learning and practicing the following tools and strategies:
⋒ Breathwork
Try Five Finger Breathing or Box Breathing.
⋒ Mindfulness
Try The Five Senses Exercise or mindful eating.
⋒ Movement
Try standing up for a quick stretch to relieve muscle tension, getting outside for a stroll or even a gentle hand massage for an instant burst of soothing relaxation.
⋒ Cognitive Strategies
Try reframing negative thoughts which are fuelling uncomfortable feelings. Are you missing anything? Are there any experiences or facts you’ve overlooked? What would a friend say to you if they knew you thought this way? What would you say to a friend who thought this way?
Step 3: Widen Your Window
Another important step to strengthening your psychological resilience, is to build a metaphorical toolbox of tools you can use proactively to expand your window of tolerance, therefore making you more resilient to stress.
Consider learning and practicing the following tools and strategies:
⋒ Gradually exposing yourself to something which is triggering or stressful to you
⋒ Self-reflection (e.g. journaling, self-check ins, therapy or coaching)
⋒ Connection (with people who make you feel warm, safe and uplifted)
⋒ Making healthy lifestyle choices (e.g. regarding nutrition, sleep, movement and routine)
Conclusion
To better manage the inevitable stress that life brings, and increase your psychological resilience to future stressors, take these three steps; First, reflect on your window of tolerance. How do you feel, act and think when regulated and dysregulated? Secondly, work on developing ways to self-regulate through breathing, mindfulness, movement and cognitive strategies so that you can cope ‘in-the-moment’ when a challenging situation arises. Finally, look at ways to proactively widen your window of tolerance by accepting gradual exposure to stress, self-reflecting, seeking connection and making healthy lifestyle choices.
Further Support
Please get in touch if you would like to discuss individual support for managing your stress.
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