Want Better Sleep? Avoid These Three Common Mistakes

What’s brought you here? 

Perhaps you’re struggling with sleep right now, stumbling across this journal article whilst feeling exhausted and wondering what you can do about it. 

Maybe you feel like you have reasonably good sleep habits but can’t understand why you still don’t seem to be able to get a solid night’s rest and feel fully refreshed the next morning.

Or it could be that you’re just looking for some quick tips and advice on how to improve your general sleep hygiene, something that you can also rely on during those times when sleep doesn’t come as easily to you as it usually does. 

I’ve worked as a psychologist for over 20 years, and in that time I’ve helped hundreds of people to overcome difficulties with sleep … if you’ve arrived here with any of the above intentions or struggles then I can help you too!

In this journal article, I’ll share three common mistakes that I’ve seen people who struggle with sleep often make and, crucially, my recommendations for overcoming them so that you can:

• Improve your sleep quality and quantity

• Improve your physical health

• Improve your mental health

• Improve your work efficiency

• Improve your relationships

• Live longer 

Ready to learn the secrets to better sleep? Avoid these three mistakes …

Mistake #1 - Staying in bed when you can’t sleep

Ever feel tired and head to bed but, when you get there, find that you just can’t seem to drift off? More often than not the temptation is then to stay in bed for hours, tossing and turning whilst not being able to get to sleep. We lie there thinking - thinking about the fact that we’re not asleep yet - and this can cause anxiety and stress. Staying in bed when you are struggling to sleep actually makes it harder to fall asleep because it:

a) perpetuates negative thoughts about lack of sleep and the impact of lack of sleep, and

b) results in emotional stress (e.g. anxiety) and physiological dysregulation.

Mistake #1 - What should you do differently?

⋒ If after around twenty minutes you can’t sleep, get up. 

⋒ Move to a different room, or to a different part of the bedroom. 

⋒ Do something dull, boring or calming, with muted lights. 

⋒ Practice some relaxation to calm your nervous system, such as deep mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation or gentle movement. 

⋒ As soon as you start to feel sleepy, return to bed.

⋒ If you still can’t sleep, repeat the process! Keep repeating it until your mind and body surrenders to sleep (I know… it sounds boring - but that’s the point!).

Mistake #2 - Checking the time

When we’re struggling to sleep, it can be so tempting to roll over and check the time. Don’t! Registering the time kickstarts a negative thinking process which interrupts sleep and results in emotional stress (anxiety) and psychological dysregulation.

You might start thinking things like … 

‘It’s almost 1 o’clock and I’m not asleep yet. I should be. I’ll be tired tomorrow. I’m not going to be able to function well at work. I’ll mess up my presentation. Everyone will think there’s something wrong with me….’

This negative thinking cycle triggers negative emotions (such as anxiety and frustration) and associated physiological responses (such as muscle tension), which can then lead to further negative thoughts, such as …

‘I’m far too wound up to get to sleep now. This is pointless!’

If you’re checking the time on a smartphone or another digital device, this can cause further problems when it comes to sleep. The blue light emitted by these devices tricks your brain into thinking it’s daytime, which inhibits the body’s production of melatonin (a hormone that helps you to feel sleepy and induces sleep naturally). 

Mistake #2 - What should you do differently?

⋒ Make it impossible (or at least very hard!) to check the time – don’t rely on willpower when you’re likely to feel tired or anxious.

⋒ Remove any visible clocks within reaching distance - put them across the room or turn them so that the display is pointing away from your view in bed. 

⋒ Invest in a cheap traditional alarm clock instead of a smartphone. 

⋒ Leave or charge your smartphone in a different room overnight so you’re not tempted to look at it at all. 

⋒ Do not use digital devices (tablets, TVs etc) in your bedroom. Avoid using them past a predetermined cutoff time, ideally 60-90 minutes before bedtime.

⋒ Challenge your beliefs about sleep and how these thoughts might be feeding into counterproductive behaviours. For example, do you believe that knowing the time will help you to fall asleep? If so, how accurate is this assumption?

Mistake #3 - Using your bed for anything other than intimacy or sleep

Frequently doing activities on your bed or in your bedroom that are not related to sleep, creates a mental association between your bed and wakefulness. This is the opposite of the mental association that you want to form! This could include habits such as watching tv, working or taking calls from your bed.

Mistake #3 - What should you do differently?

⋒ Stop using your bed for anything other than sleep or intimacy. 

⋒ Set up a dedicated workspace elsewhere in your home, or if it must be in your bedroom, try to at least use a different part of your bedroom away from your bed.

⋒ Set up a dedicated chillout space elsewhere in your home, or if it must be in your bedroom, try to at least use a different part of your bedroom away from your bed. Use this space for other activities, such as watching tv, not your bed.

⋒ Do not use any digital devices from your bed area or in your bedroom.

⋒ Create positive associations between your bed and sleep. For example, invest in new bedding, a good quality pillow and mattress, use bulbs with low lumens, use black out blinds or an eye mask, ensure an optimal bedroom temperature of 18 degrees celsius. 

Conclusion

There are three common mistakes that people who struggle with sleep often make:

01 | Staying in bed when you can’t sleep

02 | Clock watching or checking the time (particularly through digital devices)

03 | Creating associations between bed and wakefulness by using your bed (or bedroom) for activities other than sleep or intimacy. 

Returning to my initial question: what brought you here? You’re here because you are someone who values your sleep and values your health and wellbeing. Research has shown that if you follow the recommendations in this article, not only will your sleep improve, but also your physical and mental health, your relationships, and you’ll live longer! Try to commit to one thing today that could set you on a path to better sleep and help you to live in alignment with those values. 

Further Support

Please get in touch if you would like to discuss individual support for sleep struggles. Or for more clinical psychology strategies and resources direct to your inbox, sign up to my fortnightly newsletter, Unfrazzled, your go-to source for refuge in the chaos. Each addition curate a blend of psychological insights, practical tips, and inspiration to help you untangle the knots of modern life ⋒